Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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