omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
my liver is dry heaving
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
