dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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