nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
