Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
