when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
