What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
