week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
