I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He? As in you personified your dick?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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