i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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