she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
