Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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