New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize