So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
