My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
