Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
