Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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