now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
