so that wasnt chicken after all
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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