No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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