Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
