Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
