just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
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Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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