god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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