Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
