sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
