How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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