Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize