How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
