Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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