90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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