How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
