"it" just moved
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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