so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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