I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
