You just made me feel so damn special
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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