When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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