We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
