and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
