she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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