Buhtt sex?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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