I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
