Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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