i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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