Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize