Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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