4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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