He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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