She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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