So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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