You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
