i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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