Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
