there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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