we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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