Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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