That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
