I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
