A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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