Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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