Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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