things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
