I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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